


Rainy Nights and Brighter Days

by QQI25



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 19:52:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7120138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QQI25/pseuds/QQI25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve’s favourite nights used to be rainy nights. He liked to lay in bed and listen to the gentle pitter patter of the rain on the window. He liked looking outside and seeing the flashes of lightning and waiting in anticipation for the clap of thunder that followed. He liked how thunderstorms were something he could hear. He liked the security he felt under the blanket in Bucky’s arms, back pressed to his chest. He liked how he could fall asleep knowing if he had a nightmare there was someone to help him realise it was just that, a nightmare. </p><p>Now he hated them. He hated how it was so silent the rain felt overwhelming and the roof sounded like it could cave. He hated the inevitability of the thundering sound that he swore shook the place sometimes. He hated how big his twin size bed was when there was no one beside him. He hated how no one would be there to wake him up from a nightmare and lay beside him and talk to him until he was calmed down. </p><p>(The rain wasn't even the part he liked about rainy days.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rainy Nights and Brighter Days

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if anyone seems ooc! this is my first finished fic for this pairing and this universe, so yeah. also i didn't really read over it, so if you find typos, feel free to tell me.  
> there's a tense switch. numbers 1 and 2 are past tense, 3 has second person pov and is present, and 4 and 5 are present. sorry if that bothers you!  
> number 1 is pre serum and pre war. the rest are after steve wakes up.

1.  
It was raining. The electricity had gone out in their apartment, so he lit a candle to carry around with him. He didn't feel like sleeping yet, so he set the candle on the coffee table and took out his sketchbook.  
When he was nodding off more than he was drawing, he finally set his stuff down and went to the bedroom, placing the candle on the bedside table. He got dressed and got in bed. He was still cold when he pulled the blanket around himself.  
He realised there wasn't much appeal to a rainy night. He tried to block out the realisation that was screaming about how he might never see Bucky again. 

 

2.  
He was a bit anxious the entire evening, and he was sure anyone watching him could tell. He puttered around his apartment, doing tiny housekeeping things to keep himself occupied. He washed the dishes instead of popping them in the dishwasher. He organised the books on his shelf. He tried to see if another setup would work for his living room. (It didn't. He ended up panicking about things being out of place and had to move them back.) He did his laundry. He went back after the dishes were dry to put them away. He cleaned up his bathroom counter.  
When he did all he possibly could, he sat on the couch and drew. He put on music so he didn't have to hear the storm. But he still saw the flash of lightning and he still felt the thunder. He ended up falling asleep on the couch, sketchbook in his lap, his pencil having rolled onto the floor sometime in the night. His sketchbook had new drawings of Bucky in it. He seemed to draw him whenever his mind went on autopilot. 

3.  
When you're Captain America, everyone thinks you're invincible. You're fearless. You're untouchable. They don't know that you had Bucky to fight off your fears. They don't know you had someone that wasn't a sidekick, but an equal. They can't see that the things you never worried about come in full force now because you didn't have time to worry about irrational things when you had to worry about whether or not you'd see tomorrow. They don't understand how foolish you feel to be so old and so afraid of your own apartment.  
But what they don't see isn't gone. Steve gets under the covers and closes his eyes and tries to sleep, but he swears there are noises other than the rain. When his room is illuminated by the lightning, he scans for signs of movements. Of course there aren't any, but of course he still searches the next time.  
The next day, there are bags under his eyes and he might be snappier than usual, but no big deal. The public doesn't care. The public doesn't see him like this anyway. They don't want to. 

4.  
He wakes up gasping. He knows he can breathe just fine damn it, but his lungs aren't cooperating. He breathes too quickly, too shallowly, and there's no one to tell him to calm down and that gets him even more worked up. When he has dreams about falling, it's not the typical falling down the stairs dream. It's Bucky falling and Steve not being able to help and Jesus Christ you can't do anything right Rogers, you can't breathe you can't save your most important person what can you do? And thinking about what Bucky would say makes him wanna cry, but he still concentrates on that because he won't be any good to America if he dies. He eventually calms down enough to not feel like he’s running out of air. He forces himself to stay awake the rest of the night so that doesn't happen again. 

5.  
The rest of the Avengers have a sort of Steve Watch going on. When there's a thunderstorm, they make sure someone’s with him. He hates to admit that it helps, but it does. He just hates that they have to do this for him. They don't seem to mind though. In a way it brings them closer together. They usually go to his floor with games or movies and keep him company. It's rarely just one person, as it's more likely that they all go up.  
They discover Monopoly isn't a good game to play if they want to remain friends because everyone’s too competitive. Although Cards Against Humanity is awful, it's also one of their favourites. So are Charades and Pictionary. Steve likes those games because it gives his friends time to let their guard down and have fun. He loves saving the world, but he hates how it hardens his friends and forces them to have to always act mature and throw away their childish and playful side. For now he'll just take advantage of days like this. He might also begin liking rainy days. (He hates saying this because it feels like he's replacing Bucky but he swears he's not. He just wants his friends to be happy.)

+1  
“Hey pal. Whatcha thinkin’ about? Don't think too hard, ‘else your mind’ll short out.” Bucky walks over to where he is staring out the window and slides his arms around his waist.  
“Jerk.” He lets his body sag against Bucky’s.  
“Punk. You alright?” Steve’s silent for a little, but then he talks.  
“Y’know, I used to think I liked rainy days. I used to think I liked the rain and the lightning and the thunder and the noise. Honestly the rain wasn't even the reason I liked rainy days. It was you. And then everything happened and yeah.”  
“Aww Stevie, you're such a sap. But I'm not going anywhere now. I'm gonna stay with you ‘til the end of the line.” He kisses Steve’s forehead.  
“Me too Buck. I'm with you ‘til the end of the line.”  
“Now. Ready to go to bed? I'll be right there. Nobody’s gonna be going anywhere. We’ll be okay.” Steve nods so Bucky walks over to their bed and lays down and waits for Steve to do the same. When he does, Bucky pulls him to his chest and Steve relaxes in his arms.  
As a force of habit, he still looks around the room. He hates how he knows there's nothing, but still won't be satisfied until he’s checked every time there's lightning. Bucky catches him.  
“Whatcha lookin’ for, Steve? Is there something off about the room? I don't sense anything.”  
“I- I don't- it's nothing. It's just something I have to do.” Bucky turns him so that they're facing each other.  
“Hey. Stevie. It's okay. You trust me, right? Nothing to worry about, ‘kay babydoll? I'll protect you if there's anything there. You know I will, right? It's okay. Go to sleep. I got you.” He pulls Steve closer and Steve buries his face in Bucky’s chest. He falls asleep to Bucky petting his hair and assuring him with comforting murmurs.  
When he wakes up from a nightmare gasping this time, he isn't alone; Bucky wakes and sits up. He's still terrified though, unable to breathe properly. Bucky takes Steve’s hands in his and faces him.  
“Hey, Stevie, hey. Breathe. You're alright, you're safe, we're both okay. Breathe slowly with me in and out. In, out. In, out. In, out. You got it. It's okay. Calm down. It's alright babydoll. I got you. I got you. It's okay.” He brushes the hair back from Steve’s face and holds him. “It's okay, it's okay. We're okay. I got you.” Steve sags into the embrace and calms down.  
“I'm okay, Buck,” he eventually croaks.  
“You wanna try to sleep Stevie? I'll be right here. I'll make sure you're okay.” Steve nods so they slide back down into a laying position. Bucky’s lying on his back and Steve’s tucked into his side, head on Bucky’s chest. Bucky’s running his hands through Steve’s hair again and whispering sweet nothings into Steve’s ear. Steve falls asleep like that.  
Bucky’s still there in the morning and he kisses Steve when he wakes up and he just lies there peacefully with Steve and Steve thinks that things are gonna be okay and maybe mornings will be his favourite time of day.


End file.
